Written by Rabbis Eli Gersten, Yaakov Luban and Moshe Zywica of the Orthodox Union
Sefer Piskei Teshuvot (250:11) writes that one should only eat fleishig seudahs on Shabbat and Yom Tov (with perhaps the exception of Shavuot). He offers as a source the Leket Hayosher. However, in truth, the Leket Hayosher only writes that one should eat the traditional customary foods on Shabbat and that one should not change the traditions.
However, it would seem that if one does not like meat, one is not required to eat meat on Shabbat. The Shabbat meal should be an oneg (delightful). One should eat what he enjoys. If he enjoys milchigs (dairy) and does not enjoy meat, then he may eat milchigs.
But as much as possible, one should try to keep the meal the same by serving the traditional foods. So, for example an Ashkenazi should still serve cholent and soup (just make them parve), still serve kugel and gefilte fish (if one likes fish), and other traditional foods. A Sefardi should do the same with the traditional Sefardic Shabbat foods. One should not serve macaroni and cheese or pizza as their Shabbat meal.
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Thanks for the post, as you said, the key element is oneg.
Our family’s custom is to have milchig morning (Salmon (primary) Gefilte Fish, Lasagna (or other dairy main) with ice cream for dessert).
Our reason for it, is not only preference, but rather a key halacha in the shulchan aruch of the importance of Seduat Shelisht / Shaloshudes to the extent, “if one is wise, they will reudce their morning meal to be able to eat seduat shlishit”. Our S3 is more akin to most people’s morning meal, with chulent or a meat.
Especially on a short, winter Shabbos, if one is going at chulent, shnitzel and deli sandwiches for lunch, it can make S3 quite challenging to fulfill.
You also noted that one should have fleishiks at each meal, but it is common to do dairy/fish at S3, which is decidely not meat which appears to contradict your statement.
I support your notion of “traditional foods” as to not have weekday foods on Shabbos, however, this is also by location as to what is considered weekday-esk or not.