On Shabbos, we are endowed with a neshamah yeseirah — an “extra soul” that arrives with the onset of Shabbos and departs when it concludes. Additionally, the Midrash speaks of a special shine that radiates from our faces throughout Shabbos.

The Arizal taught that this radiance originates from the original radiance that shone from Moshe Rabbeinu’s face when he came down from Mount Sinai for the final time. The Torah describes how Moshe’s face shone when he descended from the mountaintop, and the Gemara (Shabbos 88a) explains this shine as deriving from Bnei Yisrael’s “crowns” that were taken from them after the sin of the golden calf, and then given to Moshe. The Arizal explained that every Shabbos, Moshe Rabbeinu gives us a special gift: he returns to us these crowns that we had to relinquish to him as a result of the grave sin of the eigel ha’zahav (golden calf). And thus in our Shabbos prayers we say, Yismach Moshe b’matnos chelko — Moshe Rabbeinu rejoices every Shabbos when he gives the Jewish people this special gift, temporarily retuning to us our lost crowns. These crowns, the Arizal taught, produce the unique glow that shines from our faces on Shabbos.

Indeed, as the Baal HaTurim notes, immediately following the Torah’s account of Moshe’s radiance, it relates that Moshe assembled the people and conveyed to them the mitzvah of Shabbos observance — because we acquire some of Moshe’s special radiance each and every Shabbos.

With this background, we gain a deeper understanding of why tradition warns us of the especially destructive consequences of anger on Shabbos. While anger must always be avoided, on Shabbos this is particularly important. The Gemara teaches (Pesachim 66b) that a scholar loses his knowledge as a result of anger. The source of this concept is the incident (Bamidbar Ch. 31) of Moshe Rabbeinu, who became angry at the nation’s military officers, as a result of which he forgot a halachah. Anger causes the loss of wisdom, and thus anger on Shabbos causes us to lose our neshamah yeseirah and our special radiance. Since this radiance stems from the enhanced knowledge and understanding granted to us on Shabbos, it is lost as a result of anger, which has the effect of making us lose our knowledge.

It is interesting to note that after the Torah introduces Shabbos in Parashas Vayakhel it adds: “Do not ignite fire in all your dwelling places on Shabbos” (Shemos 35:3). The Zohar explains that this refers to the fire of anger. Do not become angry on Shabbos. This is mentioned after the concept of our radiance on Shabbos. The Torah is telling us, if you want to keep your shining glow, don’t get angry.

How can we help to ensure that we will avoid anger? It is only natural to become angry when we feel offended or victimized, or when the people around us do not act toward us the way we feel they should. What can we do to avoid anger so we can preserve the precious neshamah yeseirah that we are given on Shabbos?

The Gemara (Gittin 87b) speaks about the concept of get mekushar, the complex procedure required when writing a get (divorce contract), which our Sages enacted to prevent rash, hasty divorces. Kohanim, as the Gemara explains, are especially prone to anger, and they are thus prone to rashly divorcing their wives. Whereas other men are able to remarry their wives if they change their minds after giving a divorce (as long as the wife had not married someone else in the interim), a Kohen is prohibited from marrying a divorcee. As such, a moment of anger can cause a Kohen to lose his wife forever. In order to help prevent this from happening, the Sages enacted that a get must be folded and stitched several times, with the husband signing his name after each fold. This prolonged, convoluted process gives the husband’s anger a chance to dissipate, thus ensuring that the divorce is given with a full heart, and not in a momentary rush of anger.

The Gemara’s discussion offers us a valuable strategy for avoiding anger. Namely, we need to give ourselves time. Before we act upon our anger, we need to first pause and take some time to wait for our feelings to dissipate. This technique will help us avoid the destructive effects of anger.

Rav Naftali of Ropshitz, one of the famous early Chassidic rebbes, had an empty silver tobacco box, and one of his students noticed that every so often he went to the box, opened it, looked inside, and then closed it. Finally, his student asked him to explain this practice.

“Anytime I feel myself growing angry,” the rebbe explained, “I open the box and put the anger inside it. Two hours later, I come back to get it, and when I look at it, I realize that there is really nothing to be angry about.”

This is the nature of anger: if we wait, it dissipates. And so one of the most effective techniques we can follow for avoiding anger is to pause, to delay, and not to react immediately.

There was once a rabbi who would give every new couple before their wedding a bottle of water, which he said was a segulah for shalom bayis (marital harmony). He would tell the couple that whenever they feel angry, before saying anything they should sip a mouthful of water and keep it in their mouths for as long as they can before swallowing. Only then should they begin talking. He explained that by pausing, we allow our anger a chance to dissipate before we act on it, and this is an invaluable technique for maintaining peace in marriage.

Similarly, the Alter of Kelm had a special “anger suit” into which he would change whenever he felt himself becoming angry. This forced him to delay his reaction until after his anger dissipated.

Restraining anger elevates us to great spiritual heights. The Sfas Emes draws an analogy to trains, which in his day were powered by coal. The fire produced by the coals created an energy that was contained in the engine. Containing the energy in a small place caused it to expand, until it was enough to propel the train forward. Similarly, when anger is within a person and not allowed to escape, it creates an energy that propels a person to great heights of spiritual greatness.

The Sefer Chassidim tells the story of a man whose final word of advice to his son as he lay on his deathbed was to wait twenty-four hours before reacting when he feels angry. Sometime later, the son went on a trip and spent many years away from his family. When he returned, he saw his wife hugging a young man. He was enraged and was about to kill them both with his spear. Just then, he remembered his father’s advice on his death bed, and he restrained himself. By the next day, he had learned that his wife, unbeknownst to him, had been expecting a child when he left, and this young man she was embracing was their son. His patience and self control prevented a horrific tragedy.

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Rav Moshe Feinstein once received a phone call from someone identifying himself as a certain rabbi. The caller sharply denounced a ruling that Rav Moshe’s beis din had issued in a certain case, and claimed that the ruling was incorrect and thus void. Sometime later, this rabbi came to Rav Moshe and asked to be tested on the laws of shechitah and then given a license authorizing him to perform shechitah. Rav Moshe at first hesitated, but then decided that since has had already forgiven the rabbi for what he did, he would grant him his request. It was later discovered that the rabbi had never placed that call, and someone else had imitated his voice to try to fool Rav Moshe. Rav Moshe later jubilantly told over the story, and noted how pausing and thinking saved him from unwittingly embarrassing this rabbi.

The neshamah yeseirah that we receive on Shabbos is a very precious gift. The Gemara (Shabbos 10b) teaches that Hashem described Shabbos as matanah tovah — a precious gift that was kept in His treasure house and then given to us. This refers to the extra soul that we receive on this day. When one receives a precious, delicate item, it usually comes with instructions and rules for how to properly handle it. A computer, for example, should not be exposed to extreme heat or cold. The neshamah yeseirah, too, is a precious and delicate gift, and can easily be ruined through anger. Especially on Shabbos, then, let us ensure to pause before reacting when we feel anger, so that we can receive the maximum benefit from the priceless gift of Shabbos and allow it to inspire and elevate us throughout the coming week.

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Reprinted from Embrace Shabbos by Rabbi David Sutton with permission from ArtScroll Mesorah.