We’re deep in the middle of the Jewish fall and winter holidays—Rosh Hashanah, Yom Kippur, Sukkot, Simchat Torah, and Chanukah all come one after the other. It’s a busy time of year, filled with reflection, celebration, and tradition. But let’s be honest, if you’re scrolling through Instagram, WhatsApp, and TikTok right now, or it’s coming from family conversations and community events, you might be comparing your holidays to everyone else’s and thinking you aren’t doing enough. 

People are posting about their beautiful Rosh Hashanah tables, their gorgeous sukkahs, or those perfectly wrapped Chanukah gifts. Everywhere you look, someone’s sharing a new outfit try-on, a fancy challah braiding design, or some incredible perfectly plated meal hosting 30 people. And it’s not just influencers! Your friends and family are posting too, and suddenly it feels like you’re the only one who didn’t have the time (or the budget) to do it all.

But here’s the thing: a lot of that pressure we feel…it’s coming from us. Yes, social media definitely contributes, but the stress to keep up usually starts in our own minds. We see someone’s uniquely decorated sukkah, and we immediately think we need to do the same. Or we see someone post an elaborate holiday meal, and we start feeling like our celebration isn’t enough. But the truth is, we don’t need to have the most Instagrammable holiday to make it meaningful.

Social media makes everything look perfect, right? But let’s not forget that it’s curated. People post the highlight reel, not the behind-the-scenes moments where things go wrong. You don’t always see the rush to the store for last-minute items or the dishes that didn’t quite turn out. It’s easy to look at someone’s Rosh Hashanah menu or a cozy sukkah and feel like you’re not measuring up, but that’s not the full story.

The Jewish holidays are already filled with traditions that can feel like a lot, whether it’s preparing big meals, building a sukkah, buying Chanukah gifts, or figuring out how to keep everything organized during the whirlwind of holidays. When you add the endless stream of holiday posts, it can feel like you’re constantly falling short. But here’s a reminder: we each live such different lives, we each have different budgets, different stressors, and social media is only a moment in someone’s life, not the full picture. 

Instead of getting caught in that trap, it’s important to step back and think about what actually brings you joy during the holidays. Is it having the fanciest sukkah or table setting? Is it spending quality time with the people you love, even if your meal is simple? Is it buying extravagant Chanukah gifts? Is it lighting the candles together and feeling the warmth of the season? Maybe it’s all of these, or maybe we each have different priorities. When we focus on what really matters to us, we realize we don’t need to keep up with anyone else to have a meaningful holiday. Your holidays can be beautiful and special without all the extras.

It’s easy to get sucked into the idea that more is better; more decorations, more food, more gifts. And hey, for some people, it is! But sometimes, the simplest moments are the ones that mean the most. Maybe your Sukkot table isn’t magazine-worthy, but the memories of laughing and sharing a meal together are priceless. Maybe you’re not giving huge gifts for Chanukah, but the joy of lighting the menorah and sharing the holiday traditions with your family is what really matters to you.

Instead of feeling like you have to compete with what you see on social media, think about what makes you happy during the holidays. Maybe you love baking with your kids, even if the cookies aren’t picture-perfect. Maybe you enjoy making a simple meal that you can actually relax and enjoy, instead of stressing about it being Instagram-worthy. The key is focusing on what brings you joy, not what you think you should be doing because someone else is.

Coming from someone who has been posting on social media for over a decade, social media doesn’t have to be the enemy. You can definitely use it for inspiration! Maybe you see a sukkah that’s decorated in a cool way and want to borrow some ideas, or you find a new recipe you want to try. That’s great! The trick is to use those ideas in a way that works for you, without feeling like you need to replicate someone else’s entire setup.

You don’t have to do it all. Take what works for you and leave the rest. At the end of the day, the Jewish holidays are about connection; connection to our traditions, our families, and our values. When we focus on what really matters, we realize that our celebrations don’t have to look like anyone else’s to be special.

So as we move through the rest of this holiday season, remember that it’s not about how your celebrations look online. It’s about how they feel to YOU. Focus on what brings you joy, what makes these holidays meaningful for you and your family, and let go of the pressure to keep up with everyone around you.